3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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