Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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