Grow some girl-balls and come out already
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
it's like heaven, but drunker
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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