belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
