And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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