I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
