I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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