You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
