so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
