We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
