I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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