You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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