i think my tv is drunk
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
