Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
