Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
