Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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