Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
