Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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