i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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