I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
