pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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