I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
