Non-Jews are for practice
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
