I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
