You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Dicks are not precious.
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