Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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