Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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