ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
