Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
