it was like his penis was on wheels.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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