i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
