I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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