If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
