This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
