I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
