Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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