So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
