Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
