just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
