I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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