It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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