Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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