I'm gonna have a badass scar
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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