it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
