I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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