If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
