adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My breasts were aching with rage.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
