Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
