Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the day after is always just damage control
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
