Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
it's like heaven, but drunker
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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