Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
