Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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