Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
