I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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